In The Shadows
by Nadja Lee
Summary: Xavier pays a high price for his dream; Scott sees something Jean wished he hadn’t but the question left to answer is what Logan will do about it all.


In The Shadows 

By Nadja Lee                                     23/06/02

English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.

Disclaimer: "X-men" and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.

Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.

Timeline: Set in the movie universe/an AU. After movie

Universe: Set in the movie universe; NOT the book which goes with it.

Romance: Scott/Jean, light Logan/Rogue

Summary: Scott learns the price of knowledge as he sees something Jean wished he hadn't. The question left to answer is; will Logan believe Jean's story the morning after?

Archiving: Want, ASK, take,  have.

Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is nadjalee2000@hotmail.com 

Rating: PG-13/R

Warning: May contain some mildly disturbing elements. Contains some mild violence and mention of murder.

Sequel/series: Do you really want one? Thought not *LOL*

Author's Notes: I can't recall anymore but as strange and dark as this story is I'm sure it was Sorcieré who gave me the plotbunny for this. You just be glad it wasn't that twisted Scott/Xavier fic I wrote…*evil grin*

Author's Notes 2: This story is more agonizing than dark (or disturbing) and to really read it like I intended it you need to read behind the words. 

Thanks to Estelle for the beta and the encouragement; at least you (and Sorcieré) won't burn me at the stake for this *smiles warmly*.

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Part 1:

"Professor?" Jean asked as she knocked lightly and entered Xavier's office. The professor smiled and looked up from his papers at her as she entered. 

"Come in," Xavier waved her in and she went towards his desk. It was late on a Wednesday so the school was quiet. Xavier had thought everyone else was asleep. Only his desk lamp and the moon and stars shinning in from the big window behind him lit up the room. Yet it was not the lack of light that made Jean appear to walk in shadows. There was a dark aura around her…something he couldn't quite put his finger on but his telepathic powers warned him of a coming danger.

"It's a beautiful night," her voice was soft, kind…sad. Xavier cast a quick fleeting look out of the window.

"It is," he whispered and it was indeed a beautiful night; a clear sky, a full moon, smiling stars…. beautiful.

"I never meant to hurt you," she whispered as she came closer, her face still half hidden in shadows but he caught a tear glimmering on her cheek. She had been distant these last few days; closed off. Now he understood why. 

"It's not too late to back down," he whispered, no pleading in his voice, just a thought for consideration.

"It's far too late," there was a hint of regret in her voice at that. "You're not gonna fight me?"

It was more a statement than a question.

"Would it help me?" he asked directly.

"No," she answered honestly. If nothing else he deserved honesty now; no more lies. 

"Before you…I need to know….did Erik send you?" such agony in his voice at the thought of such an ultimate betrayal. She shook her head, a small smile on her lips. 

"No. Never that."

Xavier drew a deep breath and smiled warmly. His old friend hadn't betrayed him.

"If he didn't do this then he'll hunt you down. He's not a forgiving man," Xavier warned.

"Do not worry; I have made precautions," she assured him. Her left hand went to her temple.

"Wait," he asked and she hesitated. "The others….just me?" 

"Just you," she promised and she saw the worry lines for his children's fate disappear from his face. There was a strange almost unreal silence between them for a while.

"You didn't ask why," she said softly.

"I don't need to know."

She nodded and took her hand to her temple again but again she hesitated.

"Will you…." She couldn't say it but he understood anyway.

"I can forgive you for what you're about to do but not for deceiving me," he said softly and she nodded. That would have to do then. Her hand went to her temple and he prepared as good as he could for what was to come. He had known she would be strong, since he had seen her enter his office he had known she would be stronger than him because if not she wouldn't have tried but her strength still overwhelmed him. He strengthened his shields all he could but they were giving in. Pain began to bite at the edges of his brain. 

*Scott! * he yelled mentally, a yell of pure pain and agony before he had to let go, his shields collapsed and he could feel no more.

Part 2:

"I'm sorry," Jean whispered sadly as she went to Xavier and knelt by his chair. 

"Not half as sorry as you're gonna be," Scott's voice came from the door, hard, cold and agonised. She quickly went to her feet.

"You know?" she asked softly.

" I was in my office correcting some school reports when….Before Xavier died he contacted me. I saw what he saw," Scott explained tightly, his right hand going to his glasses, his voice speaking volumes of the confusion, hurt and pain he felt over this which to him was the ultimate betrayal.

"I'm sorry you saw that," she said sadly, tears running down her cheeks.

"Why?" strange but suddenly he felt…more relaxed, more at ease. He knew she was trying to influence him with her telepathy and he knew that though he had strong natural shields he was no match for her but he couldn't fight it, his thought to call the others for help was forcefully pushed back; he was alone.

"Because…I truly do love you," she whispered softly, sadly. Strange how her voice sounded like silk over steel.

"Why then? Why this?" he gestured towards Xavier and ran to him though he knew he was gone; his stiffened and unseeing eyes, half opened mouth and face frozen forever in agony told him that clearer than words ever could. He still checked for a pulse and found none. He knelt by his chair and took his still warm hand in his while closing his open agonised eyes with his other hand.

"It was what I was sent to do. It's my job," she admitted sadly, going to stand behind him. Tears ran down Scott's cheeks as he pressed Xavier's hand against his heart.

"What do you mean?" Scott demanded to know, tears in his voice as well.

"I work for the Government as an undercover agent and…assassin. They knew about Xavier being a mutant and feared he was gathering a private army to verge war on the United States. I was sent to find information," she explained softly, not really knowing why she was telling him all this; it was classified information but somehow she needed him to understand that she was just doing what was necessary; try and make him see that there was no evil in her actions though she had known Scott long enough to know he would never agree to murder no matter how good the cause.

"Four years?! Why wait this long?" he demanded to know, turning to face her.

"I only do as I was told. I gathered information and at first no one saw a danger; it was just a school but then Xavier began gathering the X-men and with such a powerful ally as Logan…" she spread her hands out in a helpless gesture. Scott folded Xavier's hands neatly in his lap and stood up and faced her.

"You never had any problems controlling your powers. You were always stronger than the professor. You deceived him…me…all of us," he accused angrily.

"Yes but I did love you. Loving you was never part of the job; I never wanted it to happen, I tried to fight it, to push you away but I really do love you. Please believe me," she pleaded.

"Why should I? Everything else you've told me has been a lie," he accused and she flickered.

"You're right. You have no reason to believe me," she looked down but when she looked up again her eyes were hard and cold; gone was a woman in love and a professional stood in her place. "I could try and force you to forget what you've seen here but I know you'll fight me all the way and with your strong natural defences I know it won't last," she thought out loud, her voice emotionless. Scott backed a little away from her, desperately trying to find an escape route and first now seeing just how formidable an enemy she truly was.

"Don't do this. God damn it!" Scott yelled frustrated at her.  

" I have no choice. You leave me no other way," there was sadness in her voice now. "Do….do you want to know when it happens or…"

He knew there was no way back and he knew it was a courtesy she was showing him that she didn't and hadn't shown anyone else.

"Yes," he whispered, trying to make his voice strong. She nodded, admiring and respecting his choice. Against his will his feet began walking towards the big window behind Xavier's chair. They were on the third floor but if he landed unluckily the fall would kill him.

"You will be unlucky," she assured him sadly, having read his thoughts. This was it then. Strange that he didn't feel more at this moment; maybe she was influencing him again? It was frustrating not knowing if this was ones' own reaction or a forced one. It still felt so unreal; like a nightmare. Surely it had to be a nightmare. He now stood straight up against the window. One more step and he would fall.

"No one will believe this," he warned, trying to get his heart rate under control. His hands and brow were sweaty, his mouth was dry.

"They will," she assured him and he admitted his defeat that most likely; they would and if they didn't she would help them along.

"I trusted you…I loved you," he said softly, not noticing the tears running down his cheeks.

"I know. I love you…and I always will," she promised softly, tears on her cheeks as well. "Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you," she promised, her voice sounded hypnotic to him and suddenly he wasn't afraid anymore.

"I know," he said and in that moment he did know; she would never hurt him.

Then she made him take a step forward, a soft smile still playing around his lips as he thought that one sure thought; she would never hurt him. 

He never felt hitting the cement, didn't feel his back break or the light leave his eyes but his smile remained.

Part 3:

"Ah can't believe this. It's so terrible," Rogue cried against Logan's chest after Xavier and Scott's funeral. 

"Yeah," Logan mumbled and stroked her hair softly.  Something didn't seem right. Xavier having a heart attack and Scott killing himself out of grief of seeing his foster dad dead… there was something wrong here. Xavier having a heart attack, okay, that he could accept but Scott would never kill himself and leave the students without guidance. He was too concerned for everyone else for that. He cast a look at Jean. She played the grieving fiancée and friend perfectly and though he felt her grief was real he still felt something wasn't right. She had been the one to report the deaths and as a doctor she had come up with the cause of death. It was no secret Logan had a natural distrust of telepaths and he knew Jean was a great telepath. Luckily his mutation, especially his great healing abilities prevented telepaths from being able to manipulate his thoughts. 

The more Logan thought about it the more this whole thing seemed wrong; what had Jean been doing at that hour in the professor's study anyhow and from where did she draw the conclusion Scott had killed himself? Logan had seen their bodies and Xavier had seemed to die in a state of great pain while Scott had had a smile on his lips; hardly a man who had killed himself out of grief. Also his back had been broken as he had landed very painfully; if he had been in control of his actions he should have showed signs of pain in his dying moment. What was also strange was that only he seemed to find there was something amiss; everyone else gave Jean's story full support…suspiciously much in fact.

Yes, he was sure something was wrong here and he knew where to start looking for answers. Jean was the key to it all and somehow he would get to the button of this. Xavier and Scott deserved nothing less and if he found out she had killed them….he would kill her himself and painfully so. He had heard that Magneto was out of jail and he was looking for Xavier's killer so obviously he hadn't had anything to do with it. Not that Logan had thought so; Xavier and Magneto had always seemed to have a special relationship.  He knew Magneto's helmet protected him against telepathic attacks so he would indeed be an important ally against a very likely telepathic enemy.

Jean walked by him, sniffing loudly and Logan just managed to control his rage; it was important she didn't know of his suspicions so until he had a plan he would have to play along. She was the key to it all and he was pretty sure she was also the missing piece to this puzzle. He would see that she got what she deserved and his friends avenged. That was a promise he made himself and Logan always kept his promises.

The End 


End file.
